You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
