Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
