Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
