how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
