he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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