Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
