From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.