At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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