Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
