You just made me feel so damn special
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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