nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
