Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
