Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
