The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
