i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
