I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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