wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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