I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
