Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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