Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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