This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
