I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize