she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
