tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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