Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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