I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
