I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The uberlube is also flammable
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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