We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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