Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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