You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
