It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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