She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am midnight drunk by noon
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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