I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
