Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize