He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
