Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
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