yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
