3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Randomize
