Do you still have your period?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
