As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
