i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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