can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
