i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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