meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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