I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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