i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
