I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
