Ambien. No doubt about it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
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I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
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Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?