I can text with my tongue
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
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I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.