I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.