if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
