if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
how can u be prego again
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
