I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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