HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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