just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
