Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize