i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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