from now on my penis is your penis
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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