Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
