just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize