are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Randomize
