I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
